The worst frustration of all is being frustrated at something not worth frustrating about.
Now I just want to cry and disappear and not let anyone care about why I’m crying at all. Also because this is all too mababaw for the average sane person.
In the words of my sage bestfriend Joyce Tavares, "No man is worth crying for. Because if he is, he’ll never make you cry."
I’m having a week-long birthday high.
I watched Batman Begins at Cineplex 10. Love the lazyboys. FYI, when watching there, make sure you are in multiples of 2 - otherwise, one unfortunate person will be sitting alone.
Really funny I thought I saw my ex at the lounge. But I wasn’t even sure if it was him. Hahaha, I don’t even remember how he looks like! I sure hope it was him though, because if it wasn’t, that means I was harassing a stranger the whole night (I was sitting next to the guy, in front of the guy, everywhere around the guy, who was with his gf, and I was staring! I don’t even think he knew it was me. I like the fact that I’ve changed a lot since the last time we were together 
—> change is good).
I just can’t stop raving about how great everything about my life is right now. Life is good, life is beautiful.
I had a great birthday dinner with my best girlfriends last night. Plus a lot of good friends greeted me at the eve of my birthday. This means I turn 25 with good karma.
Surprisingly, of all the people in the world (including all the men whom I thought were that into me), only one man really called to greet me at exactly 12 o’ clock midnight. A woman, no matter how old she is, will never outgrow birthday countdowns. Nor will she outgrow flowers and cards and gifts-that-arrive-when-you-least-expect-them. A lot of times, being overwhelmed is the best feeling in the world, although a lot of times you do end up crying.
I guess only one man was really that into me.
Different folks, different strokes!
(Scene 1)
Eli: "Pa, pag di ako natuloy sa France, pupunta na lang ako sa US para magpalipas ng sama ng loob."
Papa: "Ano ba talaga gusto mo gawin sa buhay mo?"
(Scene 2)
Eli: "Ma, pag di ako natuloy sa France, pupunta na lang ako sa US para magpalipas ng sama ng loob."
Mommy: "K."
Eli: "Ay ma, wag mo na lang pala ako swelduhan. Basta ikaw na lang sagot sa pamasahe ko pauwi galing US."
Mommy: "Kahit wag ka na umuwi."
Am I too uptight or self-righteous? A friend of mine was talking about her sex life and though I love her dearly, I told her "Uh… do I even have to know that?"
Ok. Uptight Eli it is. Those things are just tooooo personal and toooo awkward to talk about.
So don’t.
A lot of wonderful things happen on my birthday. I’m positive this year’s will be the best. I don’t know, I just feel it. I hope the excitement doesn’t die down, even on my birthday itself. I’ve been a good girl, haven’t I?
I’m just so blessed. I’m just so happy. I wish everyone could be as happy as I am. I don’t want this to end.
Ashton Kutcher in A Lot Like Love made me all cheesy and in love with him (and his character) in the movie. Makes you wonder if ever you’d find that great love in your life.
Would I ever find someone like him? I’m taking away the good looks and the slamming body - physique is just a bonus. I’m talking about the guy heroes in the chick flicks. Would I have my own Oliver who would just appear at my doorstep out of the blue and one day sing me Bon Jovi just because? Oliver didn’t even know how to play the guitar in the first place! That’s the kind of love I’ve always wished for - the kind of love that would make me go - "Aaaawww!"
Oliver would go everyday at the street laundry shop and wait in front of Emily’s studio - hoping that one day he’d catch her there. It was almost the same thing as Richard Gomez waiting at a vandalized bench in Luneta hoping one day Regine Velasquez would show up and sit there. I used to do that for a guy - until I realized he would never show up in the first place.
Why do romance movie heroes do these overwhelming acts all for the women they love and would I ever find one who would do the same thing for me? Ryan Philippe was waiting for Reese Witherspoon at the top of the escalator just to catch her soonest. The OST playing at the background helped in the thud-thud-thud-of-a-heartbeat though. Freddie Prinze had his whole football team clean Rachel Leigh Cook’s place just so she could spend a day with him. Topher Grace memorized all the six smiles of Kate Bosworth. Would any guy even know how many kinds of smile I have? Would he even notice me when I smile?
I’m not really looking for a Ryan Philippe or a Freddie Prinze or a Topher Grace or an Ashton Kutcher. I just want a guy who could make me laugh and sweep me off my feet. No theatrics, just sincere efforts to win my heart. Someone who would wait, someone who would run after me, someone who would make my heart beat the way I’d make his. I’m not even asking for rain to pour down on our faces just to make the whole scene movie-like and memorable. We’re all waiting for that one person who would do something out of the ordinary for us - because love is everything but ordinary, and because we are nothing ordinary. I guess that’s one thing we’re all waiting for - for each of us to have our own fairy tales.
The more I watch romance movies the more I believe in fairy tales. People say these things only happen in the movies. But the mere fact that someone thought of it and another person believed it, it means another person will also make it happen. As for me, I’m just waiting for that person who can enumerate all my smiles. It’s funny though when all of them would be because of him.
Aside from the fact that it was the first time for me to go out to the world sporting my Haircut-From-Hell, I had a really long day yesterday.
The only good thing that happened yesterday was that I watched A Lot Like Love with Ciel and Ashton Kutcher rocks!
I don’t usually stay out late. But I bumped with an old classmate of mine from Arki and hung out with his crowd the whole night. We went to Streetscape, music was okay. There was this guy which Abu said, "had a slamming body," which bumped the seat on our table. Hmmm he did have a slammin’ body.
Went to the restroom when the night was about to end. Hot-guy-with-slammin-body was there. When I was going down he said, "Miss, sorry nabangga ko yung upuan niyo kanina." Slammin bodies are like that - they should just be slammin and not talkin’. Worst pick-up line in the world, by the way.
Went back to my chair. Slammin body made eye contact with me. Offered his pizza. If only he speaks from the diapraghm, I would have considered.
Night had to end, the crowd I was with wanted to hop to Metrowalk. Damn, should have given Slammin’ my number! I may have been a little drunk.
I hate hate hate hate my hair!
I used to be really happy with my hair and promised myself to never have it cut. But change is supposed to be good. Change is not good. I am soooo unhappy. It’s like going to a bar, enjoying the night, deciding to go to another bar, only to realize the first one was better. Or having a boyfriend, finding another guy, breaking up with the first, and regretting it later. Not that I have experience with any of the two, though.
And my cramps are killing me.
Actually all my friends know this by heart but putting the list here is more of a physical (and virtual) manifestation of what I’m looking for in a man (yes, notary public na ang blog ngayon).
Although I am still a Jedi in terms of love, my well-meaning friends usually have this tradition of setting me up when my birthday is almost near. I just recounted the list to Mico a few days ago, he’s hooking me up with someone (Hehehe).
So this is a list of my non-negotiables. No MBAer can bargain whatsoever. This is the qualifying round for the Jedi Heart Beauty Pageant:
1. Must be mature. (IQ should be higher than my waistline, EQ should be higher than Kris Aquino’s.)
2. Must be able to observe proper subject-verb agreement at all times. (And complete a sentence without sablay grammar. It’s also a manifestation that he passed Grade 2 with flying colors.)
3. Must be decent enough to be brought to the mall. (I primp for 2 hours, he should at least have shoe-shined (shone?) his shoes for 30 seconds.)
4. Must have faith. (I want someone who visits the church at least once a week. Lola wouldn’t like otherwise. Sayang ang MANA!)
5. Doesn’t smoke. (I can’t stand a guy who does.)
Of course after the elimination round I also look for someone hell funny and hell intelligent. But those are negotiables anyway (for example, Exhibit 1: Looks can compensate for lack of humor, Exhibit 2: Money can compensate for lack of wisdom.)
I hope no one proposes on my birthday. I’m not prepared to prematurely give up my non-negotiables. In a year though, my shortlist have these qualifications:
1. Male.
2. Preferably single.
